a new time

it has been 2 months since my last day of employment. this has been a hellish time in my life. i didn't know life could get this fucked up in such a shot amount of time. part of me wants to go back to march and april, when i was so :unhappy: and smack myself for not really enjoying and respecting the opportunity i was given. part of me couldnt imagine one more day there working on that show as the company changed around me. part of me wants to go back to San Fran and have stayed at the Grosvenor or the Geary Court Suites. I don't know what it is that has brought me down, but it is powerful and scary. part of me wants to just go right back on tour now, and pretend as if nothing has happened and i had been the wonderful, reliable team playing merch manager i once was. but that is not possible. i must now start anew, with a new company, a new price range, a new place to live, a new 2nd job, new friends. its a new time.